Author: Nique

Pre-Mastectomy

After all the test and appointments were finalized , I had to prepare for my mastectomy.  I believe that so many do not understand the emotional impact that this has on oneself.  Heck, even my son, who at the time was 20 years old said, “Mom, what do you care it’s not like you have any game at your age.”  Well, he sure did stop the tears for a minute as I laughed and was so taken aback by those words;  “No game.” Maybe it would have been easier if I was married and in a beautiful, loving relationship, but I was alone. With all my insecurities about me as a woman, now this…I’m sorry, but whether we as women want to admit it or not, first impression is your outward appearance.  Now my insecurities that drove me to get breast implants years ago, were now going to be taken away.  As I think about it today, I rationalize, that maybe this was a way for me to learn to love me from the inside out.  Dr. Harris, my radiation oncologist, stated that I was fortunate that I had implants, because of the location of the nodule I wouldn’t have found it for some time. Four weeks to prepare for a mastectomy. There was no counseling, no support groups, or at least I didn’t go hunting them down because...

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Introduction

Currently I am 46 years old. I was diagnosed with breast cancer the first time at 43 years old. Some of it was my own foolishness, as I had a lump for some time…..years. It didn’t hurt, it moved around, it was only the size of a pea, and was hard as a rock. Over time it started to change in shape, not the nodule, but the skin around it. I showed it to one of my colleagues, as I am a nurse, and she told me to get it checked out immediately. Living in a new state, I never bothered to get a new doctor, so I had to start from square one. My first doctors visit with Dr. Chatterjee turned from a “get to know you visit”, to ; “You can’t leave my office until I have all these tests set up for you.”  I actually kind of laughed inside because I lived with it for so long, it didn’t hurt and I didn’t feel sick. The mammogram came back suspicious, which turned into a biopsy, in which turned into results of both invasive and noninvasive cancer. With the help of my friend Barbara, I found a young women’s program at Dana Faber Cancer Institute in Boston, Ma and the team accepted my case. Oh I can remember all of this like it was yesterday. It felt...

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